Rainy days makes me want to:
- Stay home
- Cuddle up with the boyfriend
- Watch a movie under a cozy warm blankie
- Eat Eat Eat and Eat
- Sleep zZZZZzz
- Drink tapioca
- Be lazy...
- Grocery shopping x.x nom nom nom
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
i'm feeling really unappreciated.
"Lately our house is not a home
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me"
What a horrible night. this suffocated feeling isn't easing at all..it's two a.m.. I finally realized what others have told me was true. I was too excited to start my own family to remember the struggles that came along with it. I no longer have the freedom I used to have. When it comes to my own relationship, i can no longer say/do what I used to do because I can't think for myself anymore. No more 'im gone-' and next thing, 'hey i'm back. wanna talk?' kind of thing. you're going to be with this person, forever. why? because you made the biggest decision of your life at the age of eighteen to bear a child for him. I can't say I'm starting to regret but...on second thought, I'm contemplating whether this is how I want it to be anymore.. sometimes, I just feel like nobody deserves to be treated this way. they say during your pregnancy stage of your life, you glow and you're at the highest peek of your life then why do I feel so much heavy feeling in my chest half the time? ... It's suffocating so badly that literally makes me unable catch my breath and eventually, I burst into tears. I have so much fustration that I don't even remember how to express them. Don't really know how much I can take longer. another sleepless night.
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me"
What a horrible night. this suffocated feeling isn't easing at all..it's two a.m.. I finally realized what others have told me was true. I was too excited to start my own family to remember the struggles that came along with it. I no longer have the freedom I used to have. When it comes to my own relationship, i can no longer say/do what I used to do because I can't think for myself anymore. No more 'im gone-' and next thing, 'hey i'm back. wanna talk?' kind of thing. you're going to be with this person, forever. why? because you made the biggest decision of your life at the age of eighteen to bear a child for him. I can't say I'm starting to regret but...on second thought, I'm contemplating whether this is how I want it to be anymore.. sometimes, I just feel like nobody deserves to be treated this way. they say during your pregnancy stage of your life, you glow and you're at the highest peek of your life then why do I feel so much heavy feeling in my chest half the time? ... It's suffocating so badly that literally makes me unable catch my breath and eventually, I burst into tears. I have so much fustration that I don't even remember how to express them. Don't really know how much I can take longer. another sleepless night.
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