Is a house really a home when your loved ones are gone.

35 WEEKS.

What's best for us is what's hardest to do.

Things you can't recover in life:
1) The stone after it's thrown.
2) The word after it's said.
3) The moment after it's missed.
4) The time after it's gone.

30 Weeks 3 Days

Physically, I feel like a planet. Other than that, I feel like I'm prone to being more emotional. My feelings are so fragile for some reason. If it hurts my feelings even if it's a really little thing...next thing to you know, I'm tearing to myself. It's out of the ordinary. It's finally December...alot of things to look forward this month. School is ending in two weeks. Winterbreak.. baby shower anniversary...the holiday season and all that good stuff (= it's going to be a busy month also. but hopefully everything will work out as we move along. It's going to be a big headache thinking about gifts. It's hard because everyones been so caught up in their own lives. It's hard to know what everyone wants/needs anymore. In the end, I guess it's the thought that counts? I will definitely be sending out Christmas cards! I'm going to keep it short. Happy holidays.

Rainy days makes me want to:

- Stay home
- Cuddle up with the boyfriend
- Watch a movie under a cozy warm blankie
- Eat Eat Eat and Eat
- Sleep zZZZZzz
- Drink tapioca
- Be lazy...
- Grocery shopping x.x nom nom nom

home on a Saturday night with no work tomorrow. My mood feels so uneasy/mellow/irritated for some reason. maybe i'm tired. maybe it's something else. i don't know. i love the last icon. because i think i am not applying my problems to the later years of my life.

i'm feeling really unappreciated.

"Lately our house is not a home
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me"

What a horrible night. this suffocated feeling isn't easing at all..it's two a.m.. I finally realized what others have told me was true. I was too excited to start my own family to remember the struggles that came along with it. I no longer have the freedom I used to have. When it comes to my own relationship, i can no longer say/do what I used to do because I can't think for myself anymore. No more 'im gone-' and next thing, 'hey i'm back. wanna talk?' kind of thing. you're going to be with this person, forever. why? because you made the biggest decision of your life at the age of eighteen to bear a child for him. I can't say I'm starting to regret but...on second thought, I'm contemplating whether this is how I want it to be anymore.. sometimes, I just feel like nobody deserves to be treated this way. they say during your pregnancy stage of your life, you glow and you're at the highest peek of your life then why do I feel so much heavy feeling in my chest half the time? ... It's suffocating so badly that literally makes me unable catch my breath and eventually, I burst into tears. I have so much fustration that I don't even remember how to express them. Don't really know how much I can take longer. another sleepless night.

future gpapa... <3 love him so muchie!

say hello to soon to be daddy.

and......our beautiful daughter. with a biggie head! look sideways!! its actually her hand and her fingers pointing upwards.